Frivolity in Words, Excess of Thought

Ok reader how do you feel about the revamped blog?? I needed a change...so I started here. Don't be shy-tell me what you REALLY think!

And if anyone could tell me how to add the gadget that secretly tells me how many people log on, that would be great! For the longest time I resisted the urge of knowing who, if anyone, actually read my blog. Naturally, curiosity has gotten the best of me. I'm hoping for no surprises. Well, a surprise or 2 would be nice! Ok so maybe I AM hoping for a surprise subscriber or 2...but, as they should be, expectations are low.

I mean really, there are MILLIONS of blogs out there. Sadly, all you have to judge mine by-if you don't know me-is my title name. I can just imagine the likely perusal: "My heart is an apple? WTF?! I don't even know what that meansssss...NEXT!" I 'm missing all the arsty-farsty photographs in every nick and cranny....or pictures of unique places that I've been....or the extensive lists that proof just how cool I am. In short, I don't really "get" technology so my blog looks rather stark. Which brings me to the sudden change I've made. I think it's an improvement. I mean, I think I look cooler. Ok. New confession that's painfully obvious: I'm self-conscious about my blog.

Reader, a sudden new thought has seized my heart! I'm going to stick my tongue out at my self-conscious self. So here I go....I'm making a list of all the things that I'm painfully mortified about. If I'm really brave, I'll never erase this list. (We'll see if it lasts through the night.) Phew. Ok. Here I go...

Hopefully everyone has stopped reading this very frivolous and extremely pointless blog entry by now...fingers crossed!

1. the plethora of grey hairs on my head
2. hair in general...i mean the hair NOT on my head or eyebrows. yuck.
3. my weight. duh. of course. i'm a girl
4. spelling. i'm a horrible speller! SPELL CHECK has saved me from embarrassment SO many times....unfortunately, however, not ALL the time.
5. i've got to be the worst person, on the entire planet, at math. i try to avoid any situation that may include anything more than basic addition, subtraction, and in some cases multiplication.
6. i snort when i laugh. it's embarrassing!
7. depending on what i eat...i'm a walking time bomb of gas
8. my eyebrows. do you know anyone else who has to trim theirs?!
9. my sometimes apparent lack of knowledge, culture, and (dare i say it??) class. Case in point. Perhaps this entry isn't the smartest, or classiest thing I've ever written. ha!
10. i wanna be a good writer one day. this blog is a pseudo scratch pad for trial and error. I expect to write a lot of really bad stuff, before something pretty good comes outta me. until then, i'm self-conscious about my blog/anything i write.

Ok that lists feel pretty good. Somehow putting it out there doesn't make it so scary. Reader, if you've made it this far, then i suggest you leave a comment telling me what you think about the new blog diggs, along with something YOUR self-conscious about. Come on, show your self-conscious self who's boss!

The" Real" and 2 words you really need to know

I saw Inception this morning. It was, I have to admit, absolutely AMAZING. The 2.5 hours I spent in the movie theater passed without me noticing, and when it ended I was sad to leave the world they had masterfully created.

It makes my head spin, however, to think of the shear number of blog postings Inception will undoubtedly inspire. Therefore, I will keep my comments to a minimum in order to resist accumulating myself into the cliched masses of Inception bloggers.

1. If you like Inception I HIGHLY recommend Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind.
2. As you watch, notice that time is extremely flexible and powerfully subjective. Then think of Stephen Hawking (genius!) AND my previous blog post. :-)
3. I love questioning the "real". This is why I'm an English major. Never be afraid to question your own perception of reality; never be afraid to question what you THINK is real.


That is all. Moving on...

Reader, I have a confession to make. I have not posted anything for 3 weeks (thanks for noticing mom! it feels good to know someone anticipates my musings...)because I've been afraid of my own thoughts. Have you ever tried to run from, and ignore your own mind? Somehow you think if you can just pretend it's not there, it will eventually go away. But then one day you realize that all your pretending has actually been covering up pieces of you. You're then left wondering-who are you really? Has the pretense, and the facade been a process of self-discovery or self-denial?

Reader, do you ever feel like you're the only one in the entire world that could possibly feel this way? Even as I write I wonder why I feel so save in confessing so much to the stark illusion of "real" and "readership" known as a blog? Which in turn begs the question, is my blog a catalyst into self-discovery or self-denial?

In other news, I'm studying for the GRE, and in the process I have found 2 especially lovely words:

Gregarious-sociable; outgoing; enjoying the company of other people...for some reason that word, along with it's definition, makes me smile
Ebullience-the quality of lively or enthusiastic expression of thoughts and feelings

I hope one describes me, and the other is something I offer to those around me.