changes

"What does it take to reach you, into you? What is the stimulus that will force you to act; what motivates you in your inability to conceive of yourself as something special? Will it take the death of a loved one? Will the values you consider valuable have to be destroyed? Is the knowledge of self so painful as to demand that you not accept it and continue to squalor in your naivete?"
-LeRoi Jones

Reader, right now my mind and heart are a construction zone of change. I'm not sure what exactly is being torn down and what is replacing it - at least I can't see the complete picture just yet. But I feel a paradigm shift, a re-creation of my soul; it's exciting and beautiful.

The picture and preceding quote seem to bear a representative voice for my new soul. I have to share it with you. I have to lay claim to my change. I have to own it, and accept it - in order for it to do any good.

And reader...

I have so many questions that appear to have no answer:

How long will women continue to be victims of objectivity and bigotry?

How long will men hide behind alternate realities and fear of responsibility?

How long will America maintain a narrative of "whiteness" while ignoring it's BEAUTIFUL duplicity? (i.e. in Barnes and Noble there is an American Literature Multicultural section. Aren't people of ALL varying ethnic backgrounds American? Who is in the mainstream American Literature sections then? I'll give you one guess...)

In short,

How long will we prioritize the more dramatic international causes over our own domestic needs?

Reader what is YOUR knowledge of self? Are you continually shaping and re-shaping your identity and reality in order to shift into new modes of interpretation? What are your stereotypes and how does this affect your ability to love others? How does this effect your ability to see YOURSELF? Sometimes you have to fight, FIGHT! the product of your culture in order to see the bigger picture.

Don't miss the forest because you only care, or have time for the tree.

Thursday Morning Epiphany

Finally! I have found some time to write a new blog post. Have you missed me? I have missed you. You-who I don't even know, in the mass blackness of cyberspace-have somehow come to mean something to me.

Can I ask you something reader? How do you learn to live?

My teacher posed this question in class, and it struck my mind with such potency that I looked up from my writing with shock. Walking out of class, I wondered why this particular idea struck me so deeply? How did this apply to me? How does this apply to YOU reader?

The question inherently implies that you are not fully living, and consequently must find a way around this predicament.

Am I merely the blind man who hits the tree, but misses the forest?

Someone told me once living meant pushing through-forcing your way through life and all its choices. Then somewhere along the movement, you will pick up the knack for living.
So is life a mere procession of action? There is no "fail" or "success" only "learned" and "learning"?

Have YOU learned to live? Are you living, or merely surviving? Are you acting, or being acted upon?

Sometimes in school I feel stuck in a box, and I can't wait to fly away and discover for myself what it means to learn how to live.