Ok reader. I've got a doozy for you. A 100% true and crazy story.
I work as a server at a local mexican restaurant. We get a lot of regulars. Naturally, I befriend all of them...especially the really good tippers. 2 guys in particular I've connected with. Both are established, older guys. Perhaps in there early to mid 40s. One is a doctor, the other is a sound mixer for movies. They come in once every 4 months. Always together. Always when the movie guy is back in town from California. I always stop by and chat.
One day the doctor, his name is Robert, came in without his friend. Naturally, I stopped by to say hello. In the course of conversation he asked for my number. I gave it to him. I was graduating and he said he wanted to send me a text every now and again just to say hello. Alright, I thought, innocent enough. I didn't think much about it. Before he left the restaurant, he asked me if I could go anywhere where would I go. We had always talked about traveling. He knew I loved it. Without thinking much I blurted out, Turkey or India. Maybe Africa. I said goodbye and went back to my tables.
Later that night I received a text from Robert. Again he asked me if I could go anywhere where would I go. In response I told him I'm not picky...I love to travel so much...I was wanna go anywhere new. Soon he sent me another text in which he told me:
If you're serious about an adventure, I'd love to share one with you. I'd pay for us to go anywhere in the world for 2 or 3 weeks. You choose. Anywhere you want to go.
I couldn't believe it.
Was this for real?
I've had very real and intense fantasies wherein my boyfriend/husband/lover (you know whatever) would say the very same thing to me. And here it was. Someone was actually allowing me to perhaps live my fantasy.
I didn't know what to say. I didn't respond for a few minutes. Soon he sent me another text:
Imagine exploring the castles of England, soaking up the sun on an island in Greece or South Pacific, Christmas in Bethlehem, anywhere you want to go....
He was killing me. Literally KILLING ME.
I began to entertain the idea.
An all expense paid trip to wherever I wanted to go?! Ya...you don't just walk away from that...at least not right away. I love to travel way too much.
I tried to deter him by telling him I might be a bad travel buddy...he came back with whatever your travel style is, you'll only add to the adventure.
Crap. That didn't work.
I finally admitted I would need time to think about it, and we'd certainly have to meet and actually talk about our potential travel plans.
Swiftly he responded with:
After a few trips around Salt Lake, Orem, and Springville we'll get to know each other better. Then we'll make plans to go wherever you want to go.
Whoa. All of a sudden this little travel proposition had turned into a few dates. In hindsight, he probably should have started there. You know, dinner before Europe. But really, the expectation of traveling for free was what was getting him face time with me. So maybe he played his cards as best he could.
I asked him why he was doing this. He said it was a graduation gift. And then....
He told me he loved my energy. He had no doubt I was going to be successful. He was sure I was going to grab life and get every thing out of it I possibly could. He admired that about me. He loved to talk to me, and to be around me.
I was flattered. But i wasn't blind.
I knew he knew nothing about me. His only contact with me was at work, and I only showed him what I wanted him to see. He knew nothing of who I really was. And the reverse was just as true. I didn't know who he really was.
He then tried to get me to go to dinner with him that night. I told him I couldn't...I was up to my elbows in research and revising. My senior thesis was due in a few days, and my only focus until then was my writing.
He tried again to convince to take a break...that I still needed to eat. When I turned him down again he wished me the best of luck and I went back to writing. We set up a tentative date for the following week. After finals.
Reader, don't worry this has a happy ending. If you know me at all, you know I have my head on straight (most of the time). When I make decisions I tend to make them analytically. I look at the situation rationally. A few hours of actually considering traveling with Robert made me sick. I couldn't be stuck in a country where I was completely dependent on a man for money, tickets, etc. Nothing is free. What would he want in return for his "investments"? I shuttered to even think about it.
Late that night I laid down and couldn't sleep. I was so stressed. I was stressed about my senior thesis and the 3 other papers that were all due. I was worried about finals. I was worried about Robert and his plans for me. Yikes.
My response to stress is to eliminate it as soon as possible. I evaluate what my stresses are and then decide which ones I can cut. So I sent dear Robert the following text:
The more I think about it the more I know traveling with you is not something I want to do. So dinner is no longer necessary. Thanks for the offer though. That was very nice of you.
BAM! I set him straight. I didn't want him to try and convince me anymore. I didn't want him to think for a second there was any hope. If you know me, you know I'm good at being blunt. I'd say this text was some of my best work....
I never heard from the poor bloke again. If he comes into the restaurant, I'm totally going to act like nothing ever happened. I'm good at that too.
But don't worry yall. My fantasy of my future man telling me....Ashley, let's go anywhere you want to go. Just you and me. 2 weeks. Anywhere in the world...you choose....(sigh)
Ya. That's still fully in place. Robert didn't ruin a thing. If anything he gave me hope that one day my fantasy will be fulfilled, and hopefully by someone more my age.
